How do you influence others to change, especially when you don’t have positional authority?

You don’t.

At least not in the way most people think.

Influence is not about convincing someone to want what you want. It is not about manufacturing buy-in for a short-term initiative that may create long-term harm. And it is certainly not about pushing change from above or below.

Influence, when done well, is helping people to make decisions and choices that serve their best interest and the best interest of others.

Today, I'm walking you through the C.A.R.E. framework, my approach to ethical persuasion and sustainable client influence.

What Influence Really Means for Consultants and Coaches

If you have been following along with my recent conversations about stakeholder vs. shareholder capitalism and progressive vs. classical management, you know that systemic realities place limits on our influence.

We cannot change everything.

But we can create meaningful wins.

Influence is about helping clients act in the best interest of themselves, their careers, and the realm they are responsible for.

For example, imagine a leader resisting AI in healthcare because they foresee downstream harm to staff and patient care. Influence is not convincing them to adopt it anyway. It is helping them articulate and strengthen their legitimate concerns.

But if another physician is overwhelmed by documentation and AI could meaningfully support her work, influence might look different.

Influence is powerful. It can serve good or bad depending on whose interests it serves.

For purpose-driven consultants and coaches, influence is how we create change without positional authority.

The C.A.R.E. Framework for Influencing Clients

To influence effectively, you must C.A.R.E.

• Connect

• Ask

• Reframe

• Encourage

Let’s break down each element.

1. Connect as People and Peers

The foundation of influence is partnership.

People are complex. They are not just rational thinkers. The cognitive brain handles analysis, but survival instincts and emotional processing drive decisions. Real change happens in the emotional brain.

Presenting a logical business case alone is rarely sufficient.

Influence begins with human connection.

When I worked as an OD consultant at Disney, I was responsible for influencing a senior executive team to align around a shared initiative. I did not approach them through hierarchy. I met with each stakeholder individually, listened deeply, and integrated their perspectives into a shared vision they could see themselves in.

I did not try to impress or overpower them. I positioned myself as a right hand, not a superior or subordinate.

How to Connect Before You Convince

• Start discovery conversations with the person, not just their problem.

• Notice the environment, even on Zoom. Ask about what you see.

• Ask for what you need in the partnership, such as:

  • Access to information

  • An independent point of view

  • Permission to raise difficult issues

• Treat titles as irrelevant. See people as human beings.

Reflection

Are you operating as:

• The surrogate leader with all the answers?

• The pair of hands for hire?

• Or a peer-to-peer strategic partner?

You cannot influence from above or below. You can only influence from partnership.

2. Ask Great Questions and Mirror Responses

If influence is about helping clients act in their best interest, you must first understand what they actually want and need.

That requires deeper questions and even better listening.

Ask open-ended questions:

• Tell me what is going on in your business.

• What feels most pressing right now?

• What is not working the way you hoped?

When they pause, mirror back:

• What I heard you say is…

• Did I get that right?

• Is there more?

Continue until the “popcorn stops popping.”

Mirroring builds trust. It calms emotional resistance. It makes clients feel seen and understood.

Curious and cure share the same root word: care.

Reflection

In your next client conversation:

• How can you ask more curious questions?

• What would it look like to let the popcorn stop popping before responding?

3. Reframe Perspective

After gathering all the scattered concerns, you organize them.

Think of it like cleaning a room. First, everything goes into a pile. Then you sort it into categories.

You do the same with mental clutter.

After listening deeply, say something like:
“What I’m hearing is that you’re dealing with three main issues…”

You might identify themes like:

• Duplication of effort

• Silos

• Inconsistent leadership behaviors

Then introduce a strategic frame.

For example:
“It sounds like your growth is outpacing your leadership and operating practices.”

This frame becomes the goal. The categories become objectives. The issues become pain points that can be converted into value.

Your expertise may or may not be relevant to their ultimate goal. That is part of ethical influence.

You can only guarantee results when:

• Your expertise is relevant

• The timing is right

• Your approach is a values fit

If a client’s goals conflict with your values, you let them want what they want. You do not force alignment.

Reflection

In a recent client conversation:

• What patterns did you notice?

• How could you have organized their thoughts to create clarity?

4. Encourage Right Actions

Most change does not fail because of bad strategy.

It fails because of human resistance.

People resist:

• Fear of the unknown

• Letting go of what previously worked

What got you here will not get you there. But what got you here feels safe.

To encourage right action, you must address both tactical and emotional realities.

How to Reduce Fear of the Unknown

1. Provide a step-by-step roadmap

   • Break change into manageable pieces

   • Make the first step small

2. Share stories and examples

   • Show others who have done it

   • Provide proof it is possible

3. Anticipate resistance

   • Name the elephants in the room

   • Prepare clients for pushback

Practical Actions

• Create clear milestones

• Do a pre-mortem and identify what could go wrong

• Build quick wins

• Celebrate progress

Influence is not just clarity. It is confidence.

Clients need to believe they have what it takes.

Reflection

What resistance are you anticipating in your current client work?
How can you address it proactively?

How to Influence Clients with C.A.R.E.

To influence effectively:

• Connect on a human-to-human level

• Ask great questions and mirror responses

• Reframe perspective to create clarity

• Encourage right actions with emotional and tactical support

You may not be able to change the entire system.

But you can influence meaningful wins.

C.A.R.E. is how you do it.

NEXT STEPS:

1. Practice C.A.R.E. with your next client: Pick one element—Connect, Ask, Reframe, or Encourage—and focus on doing it exceptionally well in your next conversation.
2. Join the Common Good Consulting & Coaching Consortium: This is your last week to get on the interest list. Go to www.betsyjordyn.com/common-good.
3. If you need help positioning yourself for greater influence with clients: Learn more about my VIP programs or book a call at www.betsyjordyn.com.

Other articles you may enjoy:

• Why People-Centered Consultants Keep Hitting a Wall: Classical vs. Progressive Management
• Why Generic Titles Like “Consultant” and “Coach” Create Confusion
• The 3 Types of Expertise Every Consultant and Coach Needs to Name and Claim
• Five Brand Positioning Lessons I Learned by Tearing My Process Apart
• The Brand Messaging Process Consultants Need for Clarity and Confidence

About me: Betsy Jordyn is a brand messaging strategist and business mentor for purpose-driven consultants and coaches. With a background in organizational development—including a consulting career with Disney—she helps experts clarify their unique value, position themselves strategically, and build businesses that deliver impact, income, and personal fulfillment. Connect with Betsy Jordyn to clarify your message, elevate your brand, and attract the clients you're meant to serve. Start here → betsyjordyn.com/services