Betsy Jordyn (00:00.066)
Hey, do you got big visions for your consulting or coaching business? Chances are you also got some pretty big fear and self doubt. So on today's Consulting Matters podcast, I'm gonna tell you exactly why that is and give you the cure for what to do about it.
Betsy Jordyn (00:15.852)
And welcome to the Consulting Matters podcast. This is the show for purpose-driven transformational consultants and coaches who are ready to own the power of what they do and position themselves for the clients, the impact, the income that they are meant for. I'm your host, Betsy Jordyn, and I am both a business mentor and a brand positioning and messaging strategist. You can find out about all the things I do to help my clients turn their vast experience and complex ideas into
compelling client attracting messages and strategies on my website at www.betsyJordyn.com and don't forget Jordyn is with a Y. So let's get into what we're talking about today, which is all about fear and self doubt. So this is one of those things that it feels like no matter what we do, they're always coming along with us on our journey, you know, especially as we're growing our businesses. And just when we think we got a handle on it, like, my gosh, I finally gathered the courage to leave my nine to five and go out on my own.
there it comes up again, you know, when you decide like it's time to invest in a more professional brand or shift to a new client, land more strategic and transformational engagements or step into greater thought leadership. You know, like at every pivot point, there's this fear and self doubt. And not only do you stress out about how are you gonna find clients, it gets exacerbated in uncertain times like today. And then it causes you to seconds guess yourself and make you feel like a fraud. Like if you can relate, this episode is for you.
I'm gonna share with you what fear is and why it's an expected and even welcome companion on your consulting or coaching business growth journey. I'm also gonna share with you the legit reasons why fear and self-doubt are an even bigger deal for consultants and coaches like us. Like we legitimately have a reason why it makes sense that we have this in a bigger way. And I'll also be sharing with you my proven cure for fear and self-doubt. So I have used this cure acronym
and a couple other episodes around the cure for imposter syndrome that I did way back in episode four, and I did the same on burnout in episode 60. But in this episode, I'm gonna share with you my updated thinking on that framework, but it's still grounded in these key principles. The cure for fear, the cure for burnout, the cure for imposter syndrome, any one of those things isn't to just get rid of it or to pathologize it or power through it. The cure for fear
Betsy Jordyn (02:37.002)
is learning how to care for it. Care and cure share the same root word, which is cura, which means to care. So what that means is care is the cure. So that is what we're gonna get into, a compassionate approach for dealing with your fear and your self-doubt so that it comes along with you on the journey as your allies. So instead of it, you know, really standing in your way is joining with you on your journey. So let's get into it.
The first part of the Cure framework is the C, which means to characterize fear accurately. So I wanna be clear, fear is not your inner gremlin. I know that we think it's like this inner critic, it's this bad part of you, it's not that. And it's not some personal flaw or unprocessed emotional trauma. It's not trying to sabotage you. Fear is simply an unpleasant emotion that comes up when you step outside of your comfort zone because that space is unfamiliar.
And our brains are wired to associate the unfamiliar with danger, hence the bad feelings. So your brain, the way it is designed and all these negative feelings that you feel are negative feelings are designed to keep you safe. It's just sometimes it needs a little help to also be on board with your highest potential. So the thing is about starting a business is scary for everyone. So there's a lot of unfamiliarity with the entrepreneurial journey because it's not the typical career path that most people take.
it naturally raises questions. Like people will be thinking to yourself, like you might be thinking like, well people think I'm ridiculous for starting my own business. Or is this the right time with the economy as it is to start a business or high will I earn a salary? Or there's so many business out there, know, like what if I don't make it? Does the world need another, you know, insert blank of whatever business idea you have? So that makes sense. There's legit risk taking that comes along with entrepreneurship. That's not why, that's why not everybody does it. So you're risking,
your financial security in order to get more control over your business or your career. You're trying to create these trade-offs. So you risk financial security and even your sense of belonging and competence with no guarantee of success in this new venture, but you're doing this for other reasons. Like I wanna have the opportunity to control my future. I wanna have the opportunity to have control over my creative expression and my creative freedom. All of that comes with business ownership. And so this is like an unknown world, especially if you spent your entire career
Betsy Jordyn (05:01.346)
you know, in a corporate space, you know, where you've had a salary, you've been able to grow the, you know, grow, not grow the ladder, you've been able to climb the ladder and grow your career, you know, and you've been able to see the path, you know, but as you all know, you know, that that path is not as secure as we imagined it to be with so many layoffs, but it still feels less secure because it's different. Not it's actually less secure than it is to have a corporate job because, you know, you could just get laid off at any point in time. So you actually get more control of your career, but because it's different.
than other people, hence the unknown. So fear comes into play just by the idea of starting your own business. just think for a second, if you can relate to any of those thought processes around why starting a business can be scary, if so, how? But, but, but, but, growing a consulting or coaching business can be even scarier for accomplished mid-career professionals turned consulting or coaching business owners, because we've got a whole lot more going on.
So one of the things that I'm really clear on in my business is I support mid-career professionals, accomplished mid-career professionals who are leaving an established job and starting their own business because there's a unique dynamic of what's going on with people like us versus if we were entrepreneurs as maybe our first career. Because there's a difference from...
that being the first way that you started growing your career versus what we go through, which is we built up a whole lot in our career, in our leadership profession. And so there's a lot more riding on our success because we have a lot more invested in our professional reputation in a certain way. And you have a lot more people depending on you financially in your achievement orientation, your sense of responsibility, doesn't want to let anybody down. So it becomes a bigger deal when you are growing a consulting or coaching business in that circumstance.
You know, the other reason why growing a consulting or coaching business can be even scarier for mid-career people is the learning curve is steep. I think this is one of those things that people get blindsided by all the time is that we just think, okay, well, I know how to land work, you know, and land a job. And we don't realize that we're not landing another job. We're landing a, or landing, actually, we're not landing anything. We're building a business. And there's a big difference between moving from employee to business owner.
Betsy Jordyn (07:22.594)
where I'm not landing gigs after gigs, that's not sustainable. We need to find a way to build a business where we're able to consistently attract clients. It's a very different situation and it shifts your relationship to money and how you make it. And then there's this other thing that's going on that makes this learning curve so steep. It's one thing to lead and be able to create results from your positional authority versus becoming a consultant or coach.
which you are getting results purely from influence and relationships. So the learning curve is steep because these two transitions are going on at the same time. Another reason why fear and self-doubt can be overwhelming is consulting and coaching by nature is a very vulnerable business model. So the roles that we have are often unclear and misunderstood in the market. And unlike professional services like accountants and legal firms, clients don't have to use consultants or coaches like us. We're optional.
And the big one, as consultants and coaches, like we're the product, we're the service, we're the brand, so it can feel like there's nowhere to hide. So that's another reason. Another reason why the fear and self doubt can be bigger for consultants and coaches like us is because of how our previous professional identity is well rewarded. What you did in your career that created the success you enjoyed to date, maybe isn't what you wanna do in the future, but it's what you did before and it became your identity.
This was why when I was pivoting my business from consulting to what I do now as a brand messaging and positioning strategist was so much harder than leaving Disney where I was an internal OD consultant and then starting my business where I continue to be an OD consultant is my identity didn't really shift. It was just the location. I wasn't working at Disney anymore. I was a business owner. But when I was pivoting from consulting to what I do now, it was like, my gosh, who in the world am I?
you know, because I got so fused in my identity that it's not that consulting was what I did, it was what I was, it was who I was. And so I had to let go of all of that in order to completely make this change. So there's a lot of fear and self doubt because I knew myself as a consultant, everybody else knew me as a consultant, but you know, will anybody believe me as a brand messaging and positioning strategist? Like how did I go from consulting into this like marketing or branding space?
Betsy Jordyn (09:42.112)
So to make the change you want with your business, you have to let go of what defines you as a person and as a professional. And here's one other sneaky reason why fear and self-doubt can be bigger for consultants and coaches, which has to do with our business origin story. So most of the consultants and coaches I work with require some sort of external push to act on their long-held dreams of becoming their own boss. So was something like a layoff or burnout.
some sort of intolerable job redefinition or some sort of soul crushing leadership decisions. So these situations do a number on your self-esteem and often comes a shame which can intensify your fears about growing a business and having other people find out how you really got here. So these are all the reasons why consulting or coaching in itself as a business model compared to other business models creates more fear and self-doubt. So can you relate to any of these challenges? Like just think for a second, if so, how?
You know, and how can you just again, just normalize the experience like, yes, like if you're hearing me talk about this and you're nodding your head like, yeah, that's me, that's me. That's the first step in curing the fear is to normalize it, to feel like it's not something that's bad. And the other thing to keep in mind is every pivot point will come with fear and self doubt because you're stepping into the unknown. And again, your brain is programmed to resist that.
which means the presence of fear is not an indication that you're doing anything wrong. In fact, it's the opposite. It's absolutely the opposite. When you are dealing with fear and self-doubt, it's a sign and evidence that you're on the right track. So as I close out the C part of my cure model, I want you to really reflect on what would it look like to normalize fear and self-doubt and reframe it as the indicator that you have crafted a powerful enough vision for this next phase of your consulting or coaching business.
because if you didn't have fear, you wouldn't be stretching yourself. So all the fears you have, normal, healthy, good, it's because you're stepping into something bigger, stepping into the unknown, your brain doesn't like it, and your brain is alerting you to something that it needs you to take care of, a need that's underneath it. So you just need to manage that fear, but the first way that you are going to be able to manage it is you have to find a way to embrace it as this is a sign, it's something good.
Betsy Jordyn (12:02.124)
All right, so now we got the C down. Let's now move to the U, which is understand when and how fear takes you out of learning. So it's gonna be really hard for you to move through fear and bring that fear along with you as the allies into your greater success, is if you don't even notice when fear and self doubt are really hijacking your progress. So there may be times where you notice like, yeah, I got some fear, I've got some self doubt, like, okay, I have it and I can keep moving.
And then there's other times when it just stops you in your tracks and it puts you in that spin cycle. Those are the moments where your fear and self-doubt can take a life of its own. I'm sure you're nodding your head, because I know many times where I had fear and self-doubt take a life of their own, but they hide behind other behaviors that are designed to protect you from the full body emotional experience of those fears and self-doubt. So this is called resistance and it can look like reasonable behavior.
versus what it actually is doing, which is taking you out of learning and growth and putting you into protection. So here's some sneaky ways that fear and self doubt can hide in how it can take you out of learning that I see all the time when I'm working with my clients. So one of the big things, especially for us consultants and coaches, we are all guilty of this is we have an obsession with our methodology and our philosophy behind what we do. Like we almost become this hammer looking for nails like.
We have this unique methodology and anybody who wants this methodology is our client and that's all we do. We get overly focused. And what's really going on is that we're hiding. know, like we want to, because in our past life, you know, we were able to hide behind our companies, you know, like we were, or our role or our responsibility. So we're looking for something else. So sometimes we hide behind our methodology rather than coming beyond it. And maybe we offer a methodology when it comes to landing work, but we hide behind it as.
is the fear, like I hope you're seeing the difference. Like of course you have a methodology, you have a philosophy. There's a place for it and there's a time where you're gonna invite clients into that. But when you are pushing that as a forefront, especially when it comes to your messaging and what you do and trying to get known for that, that's when you're hiding and that's when it keeps you out of learning. Or another big one is a flight into health. So I see this all the time where I have somebody who gets on an intercom with me.
Betsy Jordyn (14:16.206)
And they're gonna be like, my God, there's so many things I need to do. I wanna stabilize my pipeline or I wanna start my business and they get all excited about it. But when it comes to really taking action on it, all of a it's like, huh, I'm doing really well right now. I don't really hate my job. I know I said like last meeting that I hate my job but I wanna start my own business, but it's fine, it's good. Or you know what, I really am doing fine with the number of clients I have. Or like, you know, the clients I have, they're good enough. And all of sudden there's a flight into health. So it seems like it's reasonable, like, okay, you know, you're...
you're in a healthy state, but there's a difference between when you're legitimately observing yourself as healthy and or your business being healthy versus like a protection strategy, keeping you behind the fear, not dealing with the fear. Another biggie is like, I'm so confused. This happens all the time when I'm working through my brand positioning and messaging is like, I'll ask a question that on the surface seems pretty straightforward and simple, but it's like, I'm so confused. And I'll explain it again. And now it's like, they're confused again.
You know, like that's a way of staying out of learning and into protection because the confusion is keeping you from acting. Or another big one is like, I just need to get this certification or I need to get this other certification or I need to get this other certification. Or another sneaky way is like, we just say, marketing and sales, it's just not my thing. I want a predictable client pipeline, you know, and I want people like just coming my way. want these clients on repeat, but marketing and sales just aren't my thing. You know, that's another way that we resist.
or this whole idea like I can help everyone. There's tons of other ways. The bottom line around resistance, it's a mass expression of loss of control vulnerability. It's not that if you feel it and you say it, that is not in resistance. That's not what we're dealing with. It's when you're masking it and when it's showing up these other sneaky ways. That's when you really need to be more aware of it because that's gonna be what hijacks your results. That's gonna be what keeps your progress from moving forward.
So the first step that you need to be aware of around this part of the process is to be clear on what's your go-to protection and how can you become more aware of it so you can consciously choose to stay in learning. You know, the more that you have clarity on like, yeah, this is the way that I protect myself, the better off you'll be and you'll know how to handle it when it comes up. Which now takes us to the next part of the acronym, which is the R, which is to respond with compassion to the needs your fears are alerting you to.
Betsy Jordyn (16:37.462)
So behind your fear, behind your self-doubt is a concern about your business vision. And if in this new world that you are trying to achieve, your normal human needs will be met. That's all it is and it's alerting you to something. So if you want the fear to dissipate, it's simple. Don't minimize your fears and self-doubt with mindset hacks that will absolutely make them worse. Instead, meet the needs behind the fears based on the type of fear
and self doubt that you're experiencing. So let me explain what I mean by this. So if you have fears about money, money fears are alerting you to your human need for financial security and it centers on if your business venture will earn you enough income to support yourself and the people who are counting on you. This is a natural and normal question, that your fear is asking you to answer for it. It's not just the natural questions around
how you'll generate revenue, but more on the fears that you won't be able to, and you're gonna burn through your savings and wind up in the powerhouse. That's what's going on. These are normal fears. You need financial security. This is not a choice. Just because if you're going after more self-actualization doesn't mean that you have to give up the basic human need for financial security. So you don't minimize this fear by asking, well, what's the worst thing that could happen if you don't earn enough to pay your bills?
You know, this fear is already rehearsing those worst case scenarios about blowing through your savings and letting everyone down. So what do you need to do instead? You need to give it a plan. You need to give it a plan for exactly how you'll make money and how you'll protect yourself financially. So you need to get clear on not just like, I wanna be a consultant or I wanna be a coach and I'm gonna sell these things. Like, no, you need to get clear on what are you gonna monetize? Like what's your offers?
You know, what are people gonna pay for? And then how are you consistently going to be able to reach clients who want what you want to sell? Or more importantly, how are you gonna align your offers to the clients that you wanna help so that they will see what you are offering as, my gosh, of course, yes, I wanna work with you or I wanna sign up for what you're offering. So you need to work on that plan. You need to make it clear to that part of yourself like, yeah, I got you and I will take care of you financially.
Betsy Jordyn (18:56.034)
So the second fear is about being seen. Visibility fears are about your human need for connection and belonging. And these are the fears that are ultimately are what are behind the marketing and sales fears. So there's the concern is like, well, what if I created a website and nobody visits it or create content that nobody reads? Or what if I create offers that nobody buys? Or what if I step in the spotlight and people are secretly judging me? So when you have the fears of being seen, you don't calm them.
by saying like, what's the worst thing that can happen if I put myself out there? You've already seen this movie in your head and it looks like no one caring or noticing at best or judging and rejecting you at worst. So instead, what do you do with this fear? Give them some colleagues and support, you know, with people who get what they're going through. You know, help them craft strategies to make an authentic connection with clients you work with that don't make you feel exposed and uncomfortable.
One of the best things that I've done this past year or so is I started my impact and income accelerator. So I started with an eight week group program and it's turned into this mastermind. And it's been amazing watching my clients like step into this new level of confidence in their proposal. So one of my clients just posted in the group like this amazing proposal with all of this ROI language in their offers. It's really powerful.
This was the second one in a week where one of the clients posted in the group. And the whole reason why it's so powerful is these results are getting better because there's other people cheering them on. As soon as this client posted her draft, she got five people saying, awesome, awesome, awesome, within a couple of minutes. That kind of energy really brings you forward. And the other thing that's really challenging about us consultants and coaches is that a lot of times we work on our own. We are working from home.
We don't have a team. lost all those colleagues we had when we were in corporate. You we might join a networking group, but we only see them from time to time. You know, it's really important to be able to have connection with people who are going through what you're going through. So that's how you address the fears about being seen. You work with other people who are pushing themselves to be seen as well. But the other thing that I believe is really powerful as it relates to the brand messaging that I do with my clients is that when you get really centered on who you want to help,
Betsy Jordyn (21:15.234)
that really matters is that you're not trying to attract everybody. You're not just trying to stand out in general in the market. You're trying to stand out to the clients that you're really driven and motivated to help. And that also helps the fear of being seen. Okay, next fear, failure. Failure is a difficult fear, but that's really connected to your human need for competence and self-esteem. And it's about whether or not you can make your business a success and sustain it over time.
or you have to go get a job and be humiliated. Like I remember when I first started my consulting business, you know, I was in this place where I had left Disney and I was trying to figure out like, do I want to go all in? And it's like, no, I don't want to go back to corporate. And it wasn't necessarily just for the humiliation. It was because like I wanted to have control over my time and be there for my kids. And that became a mantra. So you need to have a reason for why you want to make your business a success, but there's other reasons that you just want to have a, be a success because
You're a high performer and you have a need for competence and self-esteem. So if you have that fear, especially when you're investing your time, your money, your reputation into something that might fall apart and you have to walk it back publicly and full view of your network, that might make you feel a lot of fear. So don't make this fear worse by asking like, well, what's the worst thing that could happen if I fail? Your brain could already imagine that. So after you spend a lot of money and time, at least to nothing, you're forced to go back and get a job.
You know, so that's like really stressful. So what do do instead is you invest in the right support who can give you the strategies, the skills, the tools you need to maximize your chance for success and minimize expensive trial and error. Think about it. This is what you are saving your clients from. You your clients are in a similar place where you are, you know, where they're stepping into new levels of success and they don't have the competence and self-esteem that they may say, they may not look like they're struggling with that, but anytime you're moving to a new level, like if you picture,
let's say a leader who's in a startup and now all of they're executive of a growing company, they're gonna have all of those same feelings that you might be having. And so at some point you're gonna be trying to convince that particular leader to invest in you because you're gonna help them accelerate their growth. You need to do the same thing for yourself. You need to invest in the strategy, skills and tools that you don't have to maximize your chance for success and minimize that there's any potential of you failing. All right, so the last.
Betsy Jordyn (23:41.25)
fear category is a little bit of fear or it's just, you know, that self doubt is the imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is what happens when you have a hard time internalizing the real value of your unique strengths, your passions, your experience. This fear is connected to your self actualization and questions if you really can make money and a difference doing what you love. So it's connected to the shame and vulnerability we feel when we get close to our superpowers and our hearse desire. So whatever you do,
Like don't like Stuart Smalley it. I just thought dated myself. That's an old reference from an old SNL skit. So don't overcome it with cheesy positive affirmations. Like I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and dog gone it, people like me affirmations. Like you really need to take the time to figure out how your unique combination of strengths and experience developed and honed for decades translate to the consulting or coaching business you want now. So that was a lot.
for the R section of this acronym, but I would love for you to take a moment and just think specifically what scares you, makes you doubt yourself, and then take it a step further and think about what is the need that this fear is alerting you to and how can you meet it? All right, the last letter in the acronym, and I promise this one will be a whole lot shorter, and the E one is expand your vision for your business and the passion behind it. So my number one hack for dealing with fear, at least for me over the
15 years or so through every inflection point of my business is to make my business vision clearer and bigger than my fear. So people ask me all the time, because of all the changes, like, you just seem like you're fearless. And it's like, it's not that I don't have fear. It's just what I fear is different or it's bigger. Like, I'm not as afraid of making the swing. I'm afraid of not making the swing. Or I'm more afraid of not moving towards this vision. So I make the vision bigger.
You know, so the real antidote to the fear of the unknown that you're walking into is clarity. You clarity is the antidote to the fear of the unknown. So if you're not clear on what you do, you're gonna wind up in the spin cycle around the fear because you're not gonna have that replacement. That's the antidote. So you need to get clarity and confidence. Those are not nice to haves. Those are not like the feel good things like, when I get more time and more money, I'll work on clarity and confidence in what I do.
Betsy Jordyn (26:01.774)
It's like, no, you're not gonna be able to get as much money and not as many opportunities if you're not clear and confident in what you do. So when your vision gets bigger, your fears not only get smaller, they become almost irrelevant. So that's the Cure acronym. And before I recap the Cure acronym, let me just reground ourselves on what fear is. And fear is a natural companion on the journey towards greater success and impact as a consultant or coach or business owner for two reasons.
Every inflection point requires you to step out of your comfort zone and consulting or coaching are uniquely challenging and vulnerable businesses to build that exacerbate the normal entrepreneurial fears. So if you walk away from anything in this podcast episode, I just want you to normalize any experience you have around fear. And if you're experiencing it more than maybe other entrepreneurs, I just want you to normalize it and feel like, know what, it's fine. It's a good positive thing and I'm normal and I'm healthy.
And this goes to my second recap on the episode really getting into the cure framework, which is at the heart, do not pathologize your fear or power through it, but the cure it with care. You need to care about it. That's the whole point of this whole cure is it's grounded in care. So you wanna characterize your fear accurately. It's not your gremlin. It's just alerting you to some needs that you need to make sure you have met as you step into this new
stage of what you're doing with your consulting or coaching business. You also need to understand when and how it takes you out of learning. So if you're not savvy about that, you won't be able to cure it. You have to be able to be conscious of like, yeah, these are the fears, but this is when I'm protecting myself so that you can stay on learning. Then you can respond with compassion to the needs your fears are alerting you to. But the big hack is to expand your vision for your business and the passion behind it.
And then this is the last point that I'm gonna make as it relates to the content, which I didn't really get into a lot. I kinda touched on it, but I wanna bring this point home here, is how you deal or not deal with fear ultimately determines the level of success and impact you'll be able to achieve as it relates to yourself as a business owner and as it relates to a consultant or coach who is helping other people step into something new in their lives, their careers, their businesses, and or organizations.
Betsy Jordyn (28:25.442)
You know, what you learn about managing your own fear and self doubt will convert into the actual insight, you know, like the exclusive insight that you'll need to help your clients who are experiencing the same types of fear and self doubt you are. You will pay it forward. It will help seed your thought leadership. It will help expand your impact because you will be able to compassionately connect with your fear and the same things that your clients are feeling like. And you'll also be able to
manage it because you manage it in yourself. So now let's talk about your next steps. Here's what I would love for you to do now. Rate yourself on a scale of one to five, where five is I'm all in on my business vision and what I wanna create for my career, my life with my consulting or coaching business. Or one is like, I got a plan B, I got a plan C. And think about how committed are you to your business vision? So five is all in, one is I have a plan B, C or which have you. know, whichever one you might think. So where are you on that scale?
If you're anything less than a 4.5 or a five, what fears are holding you back? And then decide what actions you need to take to convince your fears that you get them and that you are listening to the needs that they are alerting you to. You got them and you're not gonna let those needs go unmet as you pursue the achievement of your business vision. So the first question is to rate yourself on a scale of one to five. And if you're anything less, try to identify the fear.
and then convince those fears, you got them, you got their back. You are going to do what it takes to meet those needs. And of course, if you need help expanding the vision you have for your consulting or coaching business, and you really wanna get clear and confident in what you do, be able to articulate what you do with that type of clarity and confidence, you wanna figure out how to package up what you offer that gets the right clients to say yes to working with you, then absolutely let's chat.
This truly is the best way to turn those fears into allies on your journey towards greater success and impact as a consultant, coach, and business owner. So head on over to my website, again, betsyJordyn.com. Learn more about my VIP brand positioning and messaging programs, or better yet, hit the big button at the top of my website and book a free call with me. So that's it for today's episode. If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to hit subscribe wherever you're tuning in.
Betsy Jordyn (30:41.602)
pass it on to your colleagues and friends. I'd love it you could take a minute to rate and review it on Apple Podcasts. It will definitely help more people find the show and I totally appreciate it. And until next time, thanks so much for listening.
