The Messy Middle: Why It’s the Real Work of Transformation for Consultants and Coaches

If you’ve ever felt like you’re in between who you were and who you’re becoming, you’re not alone.

You’re in what I call the messy middle.

And in my experience, this is not a problem to solve. It’s the very place where transformation happens.

In this episode, I break this concept down more deeply because it sits at the core of not only our growth as consultants and coaches, but also the real reason our clients come to us in the first place.

What the Messy Middle Really Is

Let’s start with what it’s not.

The messy middle isn’t just creative resistance or a lack of clarity. It’s not simply the uncomfortable part of building something new, and it’s not just the point in your business where you need better systems or marketing.

Those are surface-level interpretations.

The messy middle is the in-between space of transformation. It’s the moment where your current way of operating no longer fits, but the future version of what you’re stepping into isn’t fully formed yet.

What makes this so challenging is that it’s not just about changing what you do. It’s about changing who you are.

And that’s why you can’t plan your way through it. You can’t logic your way out of it. This isn’t a tactical problem. It’s an identity shift.

Why the Messy Middle Feels So Hard

There’s a reason this phase feels so uncomfortable.

Transformation is inherently disruptive. It requires you to let go of what has worked, what has defined you, and what has felt safe, before the next version of you is fully visible.

That gap creates tension.

I often describe this as a liminal space. It’s the threshold between what was and what will be. You’re no longer who you were, but you’re not fully who you’re becoming either.

And your brain resists that.

Because to move forward, you have to leave certainty behind and step into something unknown without guarantees. That’s not how we’re wired to operate, which is why this phase can feel so destabilizing.

The Hero’s Journey and the Messy Middle

One of the most helpful ways I’ve made sense of this experience is through the framework of the hero’s journey.

This pattern shows up in nearly every story that resonates deeply with us. There’s a reason for that. It mirrors how transformation actually works.

There’s always a beginning where everything feels familiar. Then something disrupts that normal state and calls the person into change. There’s hesitation, resistance, and eventually a decision to step into the unknown.

That middle portion, the part filled with challenges, confusion, and growth, is where the real transformation happens.

That is the messy middle.

It’s not a detour in the story. It is the story.

The Role of Consultants and Coaches in the Messy Middle

This is where your role becomes more meaningful than most people realize.

If you’re a consultant or coach, you are not simply there to provide answers or deliver solutions. You are stepping into the role of the guide in someone else’s transformation.

Your clients are not just trying to complete a project. They are navigating a shift in identity, capability, or direction.

What they ask you for on the surface rarely reflects the deeper need underneath.

They may say they need strategy, messaging, or clarity. But what they’re really experiencing is the discomfort of being in the middle of something they don’t fully understand yet.

Your role is to help them navigate that space with clarity and perspective, not bypass it.

Why You Have to Go First

There’s an important truth here that shapes how effective you can be in that role.

You can’t guide someone through a transformation you haven’t experienced in some form yourself.

That doesn’t mean your journey has to look identical to your client’s. But it does mean you’ve had to wrestle with uncertainty, let go of identities that no longer fit, and step into something new without having it fully figured out.

Before you become the guide, you have to be willing to be the one who steps into the unknown first.

That lived experience is what allows you to recognize what your clients are going through, even when they can’t articulate it yet.

The Identity Shift Most People Miss

What we often label as a “messy middle” is actually a transition in identity.

It shows up when someone moves from being an employee to a business owner, or from being known for execution to being known for thought leadership. It happens when a business owner realizes they need to step into a CEO role, or when a consultant is called to reposition themselves at a higher level.

These shifts don’t just require new strategies. They require a new way of seeing yourself.

That’s why clarity feels elusive during this phase. It’s not because you don’t know enough. It’s because you’re in the process of becoming someone who sees things differently.

The Real Reason Clients Hire You

This is where everything starts to click.

Clients don’t actually hire you for what they ask for.

They hire you because they feel the tension of being in the messy middle and they don’t know how to navigate it.

That tension might show up as a business that’s no longer working the way it used to, a career that no longer feels aligned, or a vision that feels bigger than what they know how to execute.

What they’re really looking for is someone who understands that deeper transformation and can guide them through it.

How This Should Change Your Messaging

If this is true, and in my experience it is, then your messaging has to reflect it.

When you only speak to what you do or what you offer, you position yourself as a service provider. When you speak to the transformation your clients are in, you position yourself as a strategic partner.

That means your messaging should reflect:

• What your client is experiencing internally

• The gap between where they are and where they want to be

• The identity shift they are navigating

When your audience feels seen at that level, everything changes. They’re no longer just evaluating your offer. They’re recognizing that you understand their experience.

The Messy Middle Is Where It Happens

The messy middle is not something to rush through or avoid.

It’s where clarity is formed, where identity evolves, and where meaningful transformation takes place.

As consultants and coaches, this is the space we are meant to work in.

So if you find yourself there right now, either in your business or your life, don’t assume something has gone wrong.

You may be exactly where you need to be.

And if you’re guiding others through this space, the more deeply you understand your own journey, the more powerfully you’ll be able to support theirs.

If this resonated, take a moment to reflect on where you are in your own journey.

Because the messy middle isn’t the obstacle.

It’s the work.

Next Steps:

• If you are in the messy middle, and that’s why your lack of clarity in what you do and confidence in your messaging is becoming so pressing, or you want to pivot your positioning to work with more clients who are in the messy middle, let’s chat.  Head on over to my website at www.betsyjordyn.com
• Start to notice the heroic journey in what you read and watch, and try to connect your own experience with transformation to those stories – see yourself in the larger transformation narrative.
• If you’re in a time of transition, don’t go it alone. Experience the value of getting help to accelerate your own journey and gain insight into the value you provide your clients.
• Evaluate how you’re positioning yourself with your clients – from transactional service provider to transformational strategic partner.